Jessica Robbins is a respected author, coach and expert in performance psychology, best known for helping people overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges in order to achieve the impossible. She has assembled an elite team of Coaches, Trainers and Consultants, all of whom are living proof that you can be, do and have anything that you want.
They can teach you how to think a little differently in order to be the most powerful versions of yourself. Sound good?
Meet Jessica Robbins.
How has your own personal journey influenced your work and life choices?
I’m an expert in performance psychology and my work often involves helping people to achieve the impossible, through training and coaching.
I’ve been doing this for about 12 years and before that life was very different! I was bullied as a kid and had really low self esteem. My home life was a war zone and my parents struggled with giving their 4 kids attention whilst they were battling with their problems and so i felt alone all the time. I was determined to get out and make life better somehow, but I had no clue how to do that, so I just worked really hard at my studies and hoped that would be enough.
I finished school with decent A-levels, but didn’t quite have the grades to get into Veterinary College (a dream I’d had since the age of 7) and I had a crippling phobia of public speaking which made interviews incredibly painful and pretty pointless. I started Taekwondo and my confidence soared. I discovered I was a natural and within a year I’d won the british technical championships! I also moved in with my boyfriend as a way to get away from my parents who were finally in the middle of a messy divorce. We should never have been together but I didn’t think anyone would ever love me, so I took what I thought was all I could get, even though it meant giving up my control and letting him dictate our life together. Within 3 months I was really sad, lonely and miserable in the relationship, but didn’t think anyone else would ever love me. I believed I was worthless and so he got to treat me however he pleased.
A few months later I developed an excruciating pain in my lower back and was diagnosed with a degenerative condition of my cartilage in my spine. I managed to get my black belt but was in so much pain that eventually I had to surrender and admit the doctors were right that I couldn’t continue with martial arts.
After that, in the absence of any better ideas, I went to Uni, did an MSci in maths and computer science and went to work in the city for JPMorgan. 4 years later, I was depressed, still in pain, hated my job, hated my relationship and didn’t know how to change it. Lucklly, I found myself at a Tony Robbins seminar which was my first introduction to NLP. I loved it!! I was beaming when I came out of it and signed up immediately for an NLP practitioner course. I walked out of the course without a phobia of public speaking, incredible confidence and a desire to share with others, everything I had discovered. I continued to change every area of my life with NLP day by day. My partner at the time, was not interested in working on the relationship with me, so I found the strength to leave him after 9 years together and I moved down to London to start again on my own. I became self employed as a coach and became a trainer quite by accident, due to more and more clients asked me to come into their organisations and share my knowledge with them.
I overcame an eating disorder, changed my financial blueprint and manifested my way out of £75k of credit card debt! Now money comes easily and frequently, in abundance. I have my dream house, dream car, travel around the world with work and feel fulfilled on every level. I have a team of people who work with me now, who also share my passion of sharing NLP with the world.
I’ve also recorded a TV programme for BBC3, published a book and after a lot of additional work on my relationship blueprint, found the love of my life! We had a lot of limiting beliefs to work through because we’d both had really difficult childhoods and learned some horrendous relationship blueprints from our parents, but together, we made it through all of that and we are now incredibly proud of what we have together and what a great team we are. I cannot believe how lucky I am that I get to share my passion for NLP every day, with the love of my life!
So, in short…. my experience has affected every choice I make in work and life. I am driven to help other people liberate themselves from limiting beliefs, low self esteem and fear and achieve whatever they want in life.
I don’t want anyone else to feel trapped in a life they don’t want, just because they didn’t know the tools of NLP! An important part of this for myself and my partner is that we continue to use NLP every day in our own lives and keep pushing our comfort zones all the time. That way, we can show people what’s possible, rather than just tell them the theory!
What inspired you to create Jessica Robbins Performance Solutions and how did you get started?
I got started just by an incredible desire to share what had helped me. I would coach anyone who would sit still long enough and I didn’t charge any money in the beginning. It only occurred to me after a while of working at JPMorgan in the day and coaching evenings and weekends, that I could make a career out of coaching.
After I left my full time job, more and more coaching clients kept asking me to come in and train their teams in NLP and gradually, without necessarily intending to, I realised I had a corporate training business! and I loved it!!
So, in a nutshell, what is NLP and what can it be used for?
NLP Is a performance psychology and a set of tools to make changes to the way that you think, feel and behave.
NLP also gives you the information you need in order to understand and influence people around you more effectively. Very quickly, people just seem easier to deal with and you feel more confident in general.
So, in a nutshell, if there’s something you want in life, that you don’t have already, NLP will give you the tools to make it happen. Since every result you want in life, starts in the mind and NLP gives you the tools to understand and re-programme what goes on in your mind; NLP is THE tool to help you Be, do and have whatever you want.
There are no limits to what NLP can do, since there are no limits to what the human mind can do…
Some of my proudest moments are helping people achieve the impossible for example:
- Helping women to have children after they’ve been told they never will.
- Helping people to recover from illness when they’ve been told they never will.
- Helping people to find their perfect partner when they don’t believe they ever will.
What approach do you take to helping others?
Well, 12 years has taught me a couple of things…. and i’ve made many mistakes along the way…
- Its tempting when you feel like you’ve just learned the solution to everything, to interfere where you’ve not been invited. I made this mistake in the beginning! So now, I’ve learned my lesson. If you don’t hear someone say “please help me” then they’re not necessarily asking for your help! I now wait until I hear the words “PLEASE HELP ME” before coaching anyone.
- The way I help someone isn’t always the help someone wants, but its probably the help they need. I’m never going to do something for you, but I’ll help give you the tools and coach you so you can do it yourself. I won’t undermine your own ability to do it for yourself and I’m not afraid of letting someone hit rock bottom if they’re hell bent on going there. Sometimes, when people have been self destructive, they discover incredible things about themselves at rock bottom, that they’d never have found out any other way. I’ve had a few rock-bottom moments and they’ve been my best and worst moments of my life. Letting people learn what they need to learn instead of stepping in to do it for them or save them, has been my hardest lesson since learning NLP. When you feel like you have the solution to any problem, its hard to comprehend why anyone would reject it, especially people you love…. but after a decade, I now focus on the people who ask for help as there are enough of these people to keep me busy.
- My biggest and most powerful learning about helping people is that what people need most is someone to believe in them. That’s what I encourage other people to do for the people they love. When you believe in someone, it changes the way they see themselves and they begin to live up to your expectations. That’s the easiest and quickest way to help anyone. Treat them as if they are totally capable of achieving whatever they put their mind to.
Tell us about the key challenges you find that people are facing in today’s world?
Blimey… there’s a few on a personal and global level…
Deepak Chopra says that 99% of the worlds problems would be solved overnight if we stopped trying to defend our point of view (and started seeing the point of view of others)… and I really agree with this.
The things I see on a micro level are that as a rule, we still don’t know how to have relationships or deal with our emotions. More and more relationships are ending in divorce because people aren’t being taught how to pick a life-partner or how to resolve problems in relationships and how to meet their partner’s needs. Instead of acting like a team, partners act as if they are adversaries.
Parents are also working long hours and not giving children the full attention and nurturing they need to be confident adults. John Gottman writes about how to have a successful marriage as well as emotional coaching for children and its an amazing approach to helping kids grow up and be able to deal with their emotions and have better relationships when they’re adults. To have a great relationship you need to be able to see it from the other person’s point of view and not be so defensive.
More and more people are suffering from medical problems, that could be resolved by dealing with their emotional root causes. Obesity and back pain are just two examples where people need help resolving the emotional causes… We are surrounded by a medical world where we expect to take a pill for everything. Instead, we should be teaching people how to resolve the emotional root cause of illness, pain and disease. It would take the strain off the National Health Service, but also give individuals the control over their own health.
On a macro level, human beings have a lack of understanding and compassion for a global community. Communication and compassion solves problems because deep down, every human being is wired the same way. We all want to feel safe, loved and important. And we can behave very badly when these needs are threatened, because they’re linked to our survival. We act aggressively out of fear and yet we need to act with more empathy and compassion, but also more intelligently, with a long-term view.
As a country, it’s sad that our politicians can’t take responsibility for our actions and how they have historically affected other countries, cultures and individuals and we don’t say sorry enough. We’re living under an illusion of lack and a fear of losing what we have, so we don’t want to share it or feel we need to defend it.
If I could ask politicians one thing it would be to think more long-term and say sorry for crimes we as a country have committed against people and other countries in the past. Its tough to imagine how we can create a world of peace when we are still responding to acts of violence towards us, with more violence. You can’t change people’s beliefs about you by behaving in the way they expect you to. If you say I’m a bully, then punching you isn’t going to change your mind!
Erm…Super Powers and Firewalking???
I created super power school after realising that learning NLP really did make me feel like I had natural super powers. Sadly, not the ability to fly or x-ray vision or anything. But we are all incredibly capable of affecting the world around us as well as our inner world and I love to teach people how amazing they are.
Firewalking is one of the physical metaphors that we use to help people to realise that anything is possible and if they can do that and they thought that was impossible, they can do anything. It’s my favourite course we do!!! The changes in people in just 3 days are phenomenal. I’m very blessed with an amazing career and I get to work with my best friends too, just as icing on the cake!
What are your top three go to tricks that you keep up your sleeve?
- The care bear stare… which is a way of beaming unconditional love at people!
- I smile at everyone I meet and decide that they’re amazing. Strangely I always find the reason that they are!
- I believe I am the cause of everything in my life, so if something in my life is happening and I don’t want it to be happening, I use NLP to work out how I’m causing it. When I change my internal world, by the law of “perception is projection” the outside world has to change to match it.
What does Holistic living mean to you?
Ohhh, could mean a lot of things. For me, its about being one person and ensuring that my job and everything in my life fits in with everything else that i want to do and the way I want to do it.
That means that I’m the same person in my private life as in my work life and live by the same ethics and values everywhere I go.
What is your message to cynics, sceptics, and the intrigued?
Well, i’ve been cynical and sceptical, so I sympathise… and the way to deal with it is to realise that there are many things in the world that we still can’t explain but we’re not so stubborn that we won’t use something that works, just because we don’t always know why it works.
I don’t totally understand electricity and how it works in my house, but I’m very happy to use the light switches when it gets dark.
I meet a few people that won’t even try NLP or tell me that its bullshit without giving it a go. I feel a bit sorry for those people, because they’re usually the people that want it and need it the most, but they just get in their own way about it. With these people, it just makes sense to demonstrate how amazing NLP is and maybe eventually, they will catch on and ask for help.
For the intrigued, I say jump in with both feet and you’ll be rewarded for sure. You’ve probably enjoyed it the last time you had an adventure and this is one that can last a lifetime and paints your life in technicolour.
Finally, what are your top tips for self-love?
- Accept that there’s nothing wrong with YOU, the person you are underneath or your body etc. Just remember your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours are not WHO you are, they’re just what you’ve learned as you’ve grown up.
- You can change the way you think and get different results. You’ve been told many lies about your personality, your potential, your behaviours as you’ve grown up, by parents and teachers. Mainly because they were trying to help you by telling you what they think about the world. Its time to decide for yourself what you want to believe. You’re awesome and you can reparent yourself the way you wish someone had done for you.
- Surround yourself with people who think you’re awesome and people who are prepared to challenge you when you let yourself down or when you forget that you’re awesome. You want people around you who you admire and get filled up by. Don’t ever put up with people in your life who make you feel bad about yourself. You become your peers so always make sure you’re spending time with people you want to be like.
- Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you really love. Pay attention to how much negative self talk you have in the background and listen for who’s voice that really is. Its rarely our own voice we’re hearing, We’ve just taken over a parent’s voice…. so recognise it for what it is, and change it for something that you’d say to your own child or a friend instead.
First Published 2015/12/15