I dreamt that I had a chance to relive my younger youth with all the knowledge I had acquired the first time around.
I have taught myself over the years to release the past and to cut the cord on all that held me back. I considered that to be complete, however I had never asked myself this question before; what would I tell my younger self? It turns out, rather a lot.
Your body ~ Okay, so you get your periods, hips ‘n’ tits by the time you are 12, this sucks, a lot. You are not a freak, you’re just ahead of the game. You’re not fat, ugly or disgusting and those thoughts have no place anywhere, now or at any point in the future. You need your body, love it, it’s incredible. Nurture it. Sleep. Exercise. Definitely dance, a lot.
Eating – Food is your friend, use it to nurture your body. Stop starving yourself, binging and purging. You are only hurting yourself.
Education ~ Learn, it’s a gift. All the things you think are important at school are not. Show up, do the work and you will enjoy it so much more than all the other distractions. Continue with your A-levels and go to University. Keep learning, it lights you up.
Boys (to men) ~ Boys will come and go, don’t get so hung up on it all. Rejection feels hideous but just because someone doesn’t like you it doesn’t mean you are ugly/fat/disgusting/a failure/not worthy etc. etc. Stay away from anyone who makes you feel less than awesome. Never settle for anything less than extraordinary.
Sex ~ It isn’t love. You’ll have plenty of it and you will love it. Don’t use it, abuse it or mistake it for something it is not.
Smoking ~ Don’t, just don’t. It will be the one regret you carry with you. You know it’s dangerous, listen to what you know.
Alcohol ~ For every fun time there will be ten times the amount of shit moments. Know when to stop and when it does not serve you.
Money ~ Respect it. Nothing you buy will fix anything so stop searching for quick fixes. Save, save, save!
Enthusiasm ~ Never lose this. It drives you through so much and draws others to you. It’s a gift to see the world with so much excitement.
People ~ Spend time with those who make you feel good, anyone else can do one.
Learn from every situation, good or bad.
Everything else in between ~ The spaces between are woven together with something that you can’t see. The threads that tie the sadness, anger and frustrations together, which make you feel fragmented and disconnected, are beyond your control. You are ill but you are not crazy. It is not who you are and it is not your fault. Accept the help on offer, including medication. Don’t give up, you are so much stronger than you realise yet.
As this New Year begins and intentions are set ask yourself, what would you tell your young self? You may be surprised by the things that are still holding you back.