Am I a grown-up yet?

This month as I turn 36 I can’t help but wonder what makes us grown up. Any ideas?935012_10152768882980007_2055045051_n

The benchmark appears to be a moveable feast. When you are a child anyone over the age of twelve seems super old. I remember my mum’s fortieth as if it were yesterday, that’ll be me in four years time. Shit.

Parents, aren’t they grown-ups? Is the moment you realise that they aren’t the moment you join Their Club.

Welcome, you no longer have any excuses for fucking up. P.s Just pretend you know what you are doing.

Suddenly your friends are married with kids. You start falling asleep during movies. Music in bars is too loud. Buying a door handle is the highlight of your week. You’ve changed.

At twenty-five I thought I was finally a grown-up. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I barely 10431485_10154642839435007_6865846681697578448_nknew anything. I still feel like I have hardly scratched the surface of knowledge. I thought I was having the time of my life, but it just gets better and better.

We evolve through our experiences and those of others. Some of us make the most of today, others strive for tomorrow and some remain stuck in the past. I have yet to meet anyone who has it all or who get’s it right every time. Have you?

I thought I’d be married by now. A couple of children and a beautiful house. I wanted to be successful, yet forgot to define what that meant to me. I wanted to make a difference, to what I wasn’t sure.

After you have hit rock bottom too many times to count, and have wanted to end your own life, your priorities shift.

Sometimes just getting to the end of the day makes you feel like the most successful person ever. Helping one person gives you the greatest satisfaction. Knowing you have loved and have been loved fills you with gratitude. A happy home and a job you love is a true blessing. Just the hope that you might be able to have children one day is enough for now. You live in the moment and make each one count.

I may not lead a conventional life but oh boy have I lived! I don’t know if I’ll ever grown up but as long as I continue to learn, to love, to laugh loudly, to find the simplest of things exciting and to dance through life with the greatest of friendships then that’s enough for me.